In early April, the Department of Homeland Security under the Trump administration abruptly and unjustly terminated my SEVIS record. SEVIS is a database used by DHS to verify whether a student is eligible to study in the United States. Losing SEVIS status means an immediate loss of legal standing, the inability to enroll in classes, and the risk of deportation. I’m only able to write about this now because the administration reversed its decision three weeks later.
When I received the news on April 7th, I had already been studying in the U.S. for nearly a decade. I first came here as a high school exchange student and attended Poston Butte High School, a public school in Arizona. I was the only Chinese student at the school, and the cultural shock was intense. Many other exchange students at different schools returned home early, but I barely managed to hang on and adapt.
That year was the first time in my life I discovered my potential. Despite the cultural differences, I found myself better suited to life in America than back home. I decided to continue my studies in the U.S. and transferred to Valley Catholic High School in Portland for the remaining two years. There, I was able to take AP classes and challenge myself academically. Switching from a large public school to a private Catholic school gave me one of the most unique perspectives on American education and culture. I was shocked by how unequal America is, especially given how wealthy the country is.
Ironically, I ended up taking almost all the required courses for a CS degree anyway. But at the time, I lived by the motto “leave no way out,” so I deliberately prevented myself from pursuing a double major. It’s hard to say in hindsight whether that choice was brave or simply naive.
UCSC’s AGPM program turned out to be an incredible experience. It was (at the time) ranked among the top 10 game design programs in the country, with outstanding faculty like Robin Hunicke and Elizabeth Swensen. In fact, when I later decided to apply to graduate school, it was Professor Swensen who encouraged me to apply to USC and kindly wrote me a recommendation letter. I remain deeply grateful to her. At UCSC I made two amazing platformers that I remain very proud of WALL-B and Fragments of You. And a slew of mediocre stub games.
Another Professor I own a lot to is Professor James E Davis. He let me joined his computer graphic research lab - AVIS - as an undergraduate research assistant. He once told me “I have a very promising career ahead of me”. That and what he’s done for me motivated me until today. I had the opportunity to lead an undergraduate student research team under him. He also sponsored me to compete twice in Apple Swift Student Challenge and won both time.
You may noticed I didn’t mention any of my high school teachers. It’s because I became pretty depressed during high school, so I ended up blocking most of my memories from around that time. Sadly, I forgotten most of their name as a result. Thank you! My 10th degree chemistry teacher, you were excellent. My French teacher — thank you for being easy on me. My 11th degree Math teacher Kipp Johnson, I actually remembered your name because how much I revered you. My English teacher, you are so warm and gentle, you are the reason why I still have a habit of reading. My World History and Government teacher, I hate that you made me memorize the name of every country on earth. And my AP CS teacher, sorry I hacked your website and stole the midterm. Last but not least I’d like to thank my host families Jennifer, Jonathan and Veronica.
After UCSC I was admitted to USC as an Interactive Media & Games Division MS student. I was supposed to come to the U.S. in Fall of 2023. But during that summer, I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis (UC) and had an infection so bad I had to be hospitalized for three months three. I ended up missing the Fall 2023 window.
After I healed, the ensuing year almost became a year of heartbreak. I led a team to raise money from VC, we made it very far only to be excluded at the last round. I was invited to Cupertino by Apple to attend WWDC only to not being able to make it. And throughout the entire year, I was convinced I will not be able to pursue my degree at USC.
When I finally entered the U.S. on August 2024, I cried in the LAX.
When I learned the news that my SEVIS was cancelled few weeks ago, I was furious (I still am) — I have endured so many hardships in the past decade. And throughout the entire time I followed the American law. I had no arrest, no charges, and no criminal history. Only to be cancelled without any notification or reasoning.
I learned about due process and rights in America in 11th grade thanks to my government teacher. I learned the same way all American learned their right.
This year, I learned those rights doesn’t apply to me. As long as the executive branch have the power to arbitrarily terminate any students’ Visa. We do not enjoy freedom of speech nor due process. What happened to me is cruel and unusual.
In fact, the existence of this very article may put myself at risk. But if there is one thing I learned in America, that is — you stand against bullies.
Lastly I like to thank everyone that helped me through past few weeks, it was genuinely difficult, and this time I like to remember them before I forgot. Thanks Professor Danny Bilson, Professor Peter Brinson, Professor Debbie Yuen, Assistant Dean Marcus Anderson, Professor Mark Bolas, Cooper, Justin, Hanwen, Aria, Jerry, E, Chellie, Jason, Ari, Miles, Anthony, Tielong, Xiao, Ebay, Rae, Lisa, Kiwi, Chuke, Olivia, JC, Wenxuan, and everyone else I couldn’t name here. Thank you for making me feel like I belong.